www.God.com

Ever had a day where you just feel blah? Inadequate, unable to keep up, left behind, less than, failure, never good enough, cranky, unsettled, irritated, bothered, agitated and foul? You know - blah. That is today. I went to the computer and typed www.god.com. Like I am searching for Him. It came up "server not found." Well there you go...

Ready

I have one day left at work but I am already READY FOR THE WEEKEND!!!!

Growing Pains

Have you ever noticed that when you look back on your own past, your memory seems to block out the really bad parts and you remember "good times" growing up? It isn't until something jogs your memory that you remember the sometimes very dark and horrible days that would leave you upset and crying. My daughter came home today extremely upset and distraught. In between sobs I got the full story and of course it is boy related. The flip side of this one is, she is the one thinking of breaking things off. I had a walk down heart break memory lane as she told her story to me. I forgot how hard it is to grow up. I think the pain is even worse when you see your children going through it. I got married very young and had children soon after that. The whole time I was raising my girls I would hear people say, "just wait until they become teenagers." I guess on a sub-conscious level I began worrying about this time in their lives. I can honestly say that I have really enjoyed my girls. This teenager thing is not hard. They just need someone to talk to on their level. Someone that relates to them and guides them gently but firmly in the right direction. They don't always do what we want them to do and sometimes they mess up, but you love them, pick them up, and put them back on track. Tonight has been one of the hardest moments so far. Just wanting to jump in a fix everything and make it ok. Make the very real pain she feels go away. I think it is an insult to teens when you say, you're young - you just don't understand yet. They do understand that what they feel hurts. How much more real does it get than that? They just need to be reminded that this won't last forever. The pain will pass. I know that Jesus going to the cross for us was hard. But how much worse was it for God to not intervene, fix it, and take away the pain? As a parent, I can't even wrap my mind around it.

I got a new car!!!

So today we were out and about for a little while before we had to go to work and we were complaining about gas prices. (again) Before I knew it, we were at a Toyota dealership looking at the new Prius Hybrid. We test drove the car and I was sold. Say hello to my 2008 gas saver. It gets 48 miles per gallon. Not to mention the Navigation system, back up camera, leather, all power everything and a whole bunch of buttons I haven't figured out yet! Feels good to go Green! Cute too!

15 minute ministry

I remember a time a few years ago when Jim and I had a conversation about ministry. Being a Pastor's kid, I grew up my whole life hearing how I would have this big great ministry all around the world. When I was younger we traveled to many foreign countries and sang and taught the Word. (many times with interpreters) As I got older and had my own children, I saw mothers leaving their children at home with other people to go and minister all over the country and the world. This bothered me tremendously. I can remember wanting to be a mom when I was a little girl. When I made the decision to become a wife and a mother, that took precedence over everything else in my life. (Except God of course) Then I began to notice something. When I went into churches where no one knew me, the prophecies given to me were different than that of what I had heard growing up. I learned that prophecy is a guide line for us to view. We can submit or be stubborn. A prophecy should confirm to you what God has already spoken in your heart. Because I refused to travel and leave my children at home to do meetings, I was not considered to be "in the ministry." When Jim and I were discussing it a few years ago, I expressed to him how it made me feel. I didn't want to miss my calling in this life but at the same point in time, I made a choice to raise my children and be a wife to my husband. I had difficulty seeing how you could effectively do both. When I poured my heart out to Jim about it, he looked at me very confused. He said "what do you mean you don't have a ministry? You get to lay your hands on somebody new every fifteen minutes when they come into the salon." That is when it dawned on me. Sometimes we can be so busy waiting for our ministry to come around, that we actually miss our ministry. My ministry consists of counseling, advice, praying, listening, and pointing people into the direction of God. I'm so grateful for this insight. If I didn't have it, I may have gone my whole life thinking I did nothing with my "Calling." Take the time to find your ministry in your everyday. It could take just 15 minutes.

Ready for Spring

I hate this weather....bring on Spring!!!!

Disappearing Ink

I have been in seclusion for several days getting year end taxes ready for the accountant. Both business taxes and personal are ready to be dropped off. I've probably gone through at least a thousand receipts over the past couple of days. I noticed something odd too. How come some places print their receipts with "disappearing ink"? Some of mine look like plain white strips of paper. All of the ink is literally gone from them. So here's my question - if I get audited, how am I supposed to prove where those are from? Better yet - maybe everybody should use this magic ink and auditing should go away completely! I have to admit that I am terrified of the IRS. It's probably an irrational fear but tell that to my nerves. I got an audit on my business unemployment tax about 3 years ago. The reason why I was "red flagged" is because I habitually over paid them. Who knew? Needless to say, I don't do our taxes anymore. I hate them. Here's a political nugget to chew on...wouldn't it be nice if health insurance was included in your taxes?

What's the point?

Ok- I'm just going to put this out there. Christian people who act like everything is wonderful all the time, get on my nerves. Get real. It really makes me mad when they act like you are not "spiritual enough" to get it too. Are you kidding me? First of all - if you have to go around announcing how spiritual you are, maybe you are trying to convince yourself. Secondly - we are all created equal. So if I can have bad days, so can you. These kinds of people are everywhere too. I have traveled all over the world and there is always one. (at least) Africa, Israel, Greece, Australia, England...you name it, they are there. Do they not realize that all they are doing is alienating people from truth? There is a difference between religion and relationship. I don't want any religion in me. I don't want to go through the motions because that is what I have been taught. I don't want to walk through life with some stupid smile plastered on my face like I am impervious to pain. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it is great. Our relationship with God should be real. It takes work and it takes communication. He knows what we are really feeling anyway. We're fooling ourselves if we think that we can pull one over on Him. I take comfort in knowing that at the end of a hard day, He is always there to take me in and make me feel safe. Strip me of all religion and give me relationship anyday!

Last day off

So today is my last day off from all the holiday mess and I can honestly say that I am glad it is all over. I'm broke, exhausted, irritated and generally foul. I had so much catching up to do today it wasn't even funny. I had bought Jessica a pair of shoes for Christmas and, of course, they didn't fit. So I took them back and have been putting off taking her shoe shopping with me. (All moms know why) She was literally about to walk out of her shoes. The ring toe and little toe were both escaping from the sides! Bad mother, I know - she told me all about it. I have been everywhere today. Two hair supply houses for the shop, Wal-Mart - because Jim will die without oatmeal, Target - because I had a gift card and Jessica informed me that is like shopping for free, Mall St. Matthews - because I thought that's where the Sears was, Oxmoor - cause that's where the Sears actually is, Tae Kwon do - because Jess starts that tomorrow, Mom & Dad's - cause they can never figure out how to work their furnace, Wal-greens - cause without Ambien, I don't sleep, Moab off road - I'm not real sure why Jim wanted to stop there but I'm sure it's going to cost alot, El Nopal - cause who is going to cook after all that? Sounds like a nice relaxing day off huh? Needless to say, we just walked in the door. So much for church - So much for resting before going back to work. They only thing that can top today is getting my taxes ready this weekend to drop at the CPA....Ugh!