So Grateful!

Something about this time of year makes me stop in my tracks and take a look around. The crisp air, the smell of wood burning, the leaves beginning to change...all of it. It is no secret that fall is my favorite time of year. I love every aspect of it. This year I have learned a WHOLE lot too. We have had some major rifts in our family this year. (Not immediate family) People who we thought we were very close too and who "had our backs", are pretty much gone. We also realized how important our church family is. Isn't it amazing that the people you end up being the closest to are not even related? I have always been the type of person who is very cautious when developing friendships. I have always had an issue with trust and with loyalty. That's why when I finally call someone friend, it is a huge deal to me. Don't get me wrong, I have tons of acquaintances. But the people who I actually chose to let into my life and my heart are few and far between. I had been cultivating a friendship with my sister-in-law for over 13 years. I felt that we were very close and would be there for each other no matter what. When that friendship fell apart this year, I thought that I would completely shut down and not let anybody else in - ever! But that is not the way it happened. If you love people unconditionally and allow yourself to be vulnerable to them, you run the risk of being hurt. If you don't, you never have the opportunity to develop a close bond with anybody. This is where I had put myself for so long. Yes you are protected in your little box and no one can hurt you or back stab you. You are also alone in your little box. I am making a choice to love differently. I am chosing to put myself out there. The strange part is, I would never had chosen to "let down my walls" if this had not happened to me. So while it was painful to go through, the outcome will be worth it. Growing pains hurt, but allowing hurtful things to change you for the better is what it's all about!